Havent posted on here for a while but decided to due to my thought process right now. I find that It is still hard to get over that my dad past away and I keep it bottled in. I know I'm talking to myself right now, but it helps. My life has turned upside down and all around without you here. I'm still not used to it and hide in my room thinking everything will be alright. But It's okay people move on right? but damn does it take some time to get over that hump. Soon will be the first Christmas without you and I wonder how it's going to be. You were the star of the parties, because you always put a smile on everyone's face no matter how they feel. To you family is everything and I still need lots of maturing to do before I live up to your name. I miss you even though we never had the best relationship. You always had my back and now I don't even know what to do with my life. Everything is stressing and my mind is cluttered to shit. I need a sign or a path or something to point me towards my life. I'm stuck dad, and I don't know what to do.

But anyways I miss you and It seems to get harder everyday. I really miss you on christmas day.